Midoriya Angst - Tumblr Posts

Last Breath

- Izuku Midoriya x gender neutral!reader

- Warnings: angst, nonspecific illness, death

- Summary: deku is struggling with losing you so suddenly, thinking he will never be happy again

- Author Note: I’m not sure why I’m in such an angst mood lately, but I just want to write sad bnha/haikyuu lately...

———————

The two of you had fallen fast and hard. Deku loved your eyes and the way you smiled at him, you loved his hair and the way he felt against your skin. Everyone said that you two were destined to be together forever, and you believed them all. Deku and you married eventually, welcoming three beautiful children into the world together. You had so many plans, so many dreams together, none of them involving you becoming ill.

It started as a small cough, a slight fever. But soon you were rushed into hospital, and the outlook was dire. Deku kept his head up, forcing a smile for your sake. But you could feel the end coming, repeatedly telling Deku to let you go. But he couldn’t, you two had been together forever, you two were destined to be together. He couldn’t imagine a life without you by his side. But the time came for you to part ways, promising that you’ll see each other again someday. He told your children, holding them as close as he could, trying to soak up all their pain and take it upon himself. He knew in them you lived on; you were still here in spirit. The double bed you had once shared was now too big, the house too quiet. The body he used to pull close in his sleep was nowhere to be found and your side of the bed was cold. He heard your voice sometimes, turning with tears in his eyes expecting you to be there. You never were. He felt so alone, so lost without you. His mother came to help with the children on days he couldn’t manage to get out of bed. On days he could he threw himself into the most dangerous fights, hoping deep down that this was going to be the day he got to see you again. He was drowning in grief, swimming further and further down and struggling for air. Your friends tried to get through to him, but he ignored their pleas and just kept pushing on. He didn’t want to get better, didn’t ever want to find happiness again without you by his side. They never understood, how could he ever be happy without you in his life? He just wanted you, to see you smile, to hear you laugh. He just wanted his soulmate back.

He grew old without you, saw your kids age and change without you there with him. He watched your daughter marry a wonderful man, walking her down the aisle as a proud father. He held your first grandchild in his arms, crying when they were named after you. He saw your oldest son off to college, waved as your youngest son left to travel the world. He always felt you by his side, felt your presence in your now-empty house. He was old and tired, feeling the tug of old age pulling him towards you finally. So he allowed himself to sleep and drift away with a soft smile on his face.

He blinked his eyes open, hearing you humming that familiar tune and feeling your hands moving through his hair. He smiled up at you as beautiful as he remembered. Tears started to fall from his eyes, and you smiled softly down at the man lying in your lap. You placed a soft kiss against his lips, and he was finally happy.

𝓣𝓗𝓔 𝓡𝓘𝓓𝓔 !

Pairings: A! KiriTodoBakuDeku x O! Black Fem! Reader

Synopsis: You, your friends and all your pups went out and it took a turn none of you were expecting.

Warnings: Mentions of massive injury, Angst, Cursing.

Masterlist

GO BACK ⇢ Part 5 ⇢ UP NEXT

They ran.

That’s all they could really do. Running and frantically searching for you, the villain and rescuing citizens as well. This was one of those days that people would be terrified. It was horrible. People screaming, children crying and what made it worst of all.. is the place all of this is happening.

It was a pro hero’s job to protect citizens so they would get used to sights like these. But with the lingering thought in their mind that all of this devastation was happening in the place that no one say coming made their skin crawl.

“HELP..! PLEASE!! PLEASE HELP ME!” A citizen cried, stuck under rubble with blood streaming down her face. Midoriya flew over there as fast as he could and managed to safely get her out. “Hey! Ok I got you ok! Please keep your eyes open if you can!” He stated to her as her body was becoming heavier and heavier by the minute. While other pros who were more of rescuers came and took the woman from Midoriya, the other men ran forward, doing their best to save all the citizens that needed help while still in search of you.

A couple minutes pass and at the moment, all four of the heroes were helping citizens evacuate the area. At this time they were in the middle of the carnival where the Ferris wheel is located. “WHERE THE HELL IS Y/N AND THAT DAMN VILLAIN!” Bakugou yelled in frustration. It had been a couple minutes since anyone had detected anything from the villain. They have been stressing severely after the incident with the pups. They were thinking the worst.

“Bakubabe calm down.. you know that we’re all on edge about this situation and—“ Just before Kirishima could finish his sentence, a pound explosion and a bloodcurdling screaming was heard. And somebody in the crowd recognized the scream. The boys did too.

“Y/N?!” The mystery person said. They pushed through the crowd. “SO IT IS HER!!” Kirishima yelled, extremely panicked. The person made their way to where the heroes were. “IS THAT MY DAUGHTER?!” your mother screamed while crying. Your father came up behind her comforting her as she screamed. “BOYS! WHERE.IS.MY.DAUGHTER!!” Your father yelled as well, seeing red. The boys froze. They were not expecting to see their parents in law at a time like this. “Wait sir let me explain..” Todoroki started, wanting to avoid the unnecessary argument and also to avoid the lingering eyes on them.

The media knew nothing of you. They didn’t know you were connected to some of the most powerful heroes in society. So that meant not even the citizens knew. You were kept secret, to avoid villains trying to target you and now the pups. “But can we talk about it in private?” Todoroki continued, not wanting to talk about it in the setting where the citizens are within an earshot.

Your parents nodded and shakily walked to a corner. The boys then explained what they know and how the situation happened. Your parents were shaken. They never expected this to happen. “WELL PLEASE GO AHEAD! PLEASE SAVE HER!” Your mother cried. The boys nodded and bid farewell and took off.

“The bastard is gonna pay if there’s on mark on her..” Bakugou growled as he propelled himself faster in the air with his quirk. “Oh most definitely..” Todoroki said with a feral tone.

As they are nearing the area the explosion was, there was another one. And then the same voice was heard.

Your voice.

You screamed, “DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO ME BUT I WILL NOT LET YO BITCHASS TOUCH MY FAMILY!!” The boys froze. That was you..? “You got guts going up to me.. but that’s a pretty little quirk you got there” the villain laughed at you. “I’m gonna have fun killing you..” the villain continued as he charged at you.

“WE GOTTA GO!” Midoriya screamed. The boys finally reached the area. The other heroes were dealing with other villains in the area. It was said that this villain the boys are going after was the strongest there. As they finally reached the area, their eyes widened at what they saw.

You stood in the middle of a lot of rubble all battered and beat up. The alpha marks that littered your neck were stained with blood. Your clothes were tattered and your hair was all frizzy. The boys looked over to the side where they saw your two friends laying there unconscious.

You were protecting them.

And it looks like there was a struggle. You were stumbling over your own feet at times. No wonder you quirk disabled in the air with the pups inside. You had the overexerted yourself. “Oh.. we’ll look what we have here..!” The villain cackled evilly. This alerted you as you shakily turned around to have your eyes be met with your alphas. “A..alp-“ you said weakly. You were so weak it’s the only thing you could get out before the villain grabbed you by your throat.

“I’d advise you stay back before I pop this one open!” He said menacingly. The boys saw red. As far as they were concerned, he was the reason you were hanging onto your life, he was reason their pups may have trauma from this experience, he was the reason their family may never be the same. “You.. MOTHERFUCKER!!”Bakugou screamed as he charged at the villain. “YOU DID THIS! YOU DIRTY ASS BITCH!!” Kirishima yelled behind, charging at the villain as well. “WE’LL KILL YOU!!” Midoriya said, doing the same as Kirishima and Bakugou. “THIS WILL NOT BE FORGIVEN!!” Todoroki screamed, following suit.

They all charged at the villain with the intent to kill him. They didn’t hold back at all. In a state of shock, the villain dropped you. Before you could hit the ground, Midoriya was quick to swoop in and grab your body. “I’m so sorry we didn’t come sooner my love.. we’ll finish this in a second then get you the help you need...ok?” He said. You nodded weakly and smiled letting him know you were ok. He set you on the ground, near your friends then went back to the fight. You managed to crawl closer to your friends’ unconscious bodies to put their heads in your lap. You sat up against the rubble and tried to relaxed your body but all you could feel was pain.

As the boys were still fighting the villain, debris flying all over the place, the villain began to speak. “WHY ARE YOU SO WORKED UP OVER A LOWLY OMEGA?!” He cried, obviously loosing the fight. “THATS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!” Todoroki yelled angrily. “AND DONT YOU DARE CALL HER LOWLY!!” Midoriya chimed in. “YOU’VE RUINED SO MANY LIVES TODAY AND HAVE THE AUDACITY TO ASK THAT YOU SON OF A BITCH?!” Bakugou continued, still beating the crap out of the villain. “YOU GOT SOME GUTS ASKING US THAT RIGHT NOW!” Kirishima added.

As this was happening, you heard a cry. It had to be enhanced by a quirk because it was a pup’s voice. Your eyes widened. “AMI! LITTLE PUP IS THAT YOU?!” You screamed. “MAMA!” She screamed back. That was your quirk.

Voice Adaptation.

You could basically do anything with your voice, whether it be making a shield, the orbs your pups were flying in or just sending messages, you could do it and apparently so can your pup. “Pup huh..” the villain groaned. He then slithered his way out of the boys and said, “LET’S SEE IF YOU’LL BE SO TOUGH WHEN I KILL THAT USELESS LITTLE DOG!” He screamed and started making his way to where the pups were. You were enraged and terrified. First of all, he just called your pup a useless dog and he’s now targeting your babies. “NO PLEASE, I’M BEGGING YOU!” You pleaded. The boys already took off after the villain, while terrified. ‘I have to do something I can’t just sit here!’ You thought to yourself wearily. After a few moments, your eyes then widened, finally getting a plan.

‘MOM?! MOM CAN YOU HEAR ME?!’ You said, sending a message to your mom through your mind with the use of your quirk. ‘Y/N?! SWEETHEART YOU’RE OK?!’ She replied. ‘I’LL BE FINE! BUT I NEED YOUR HELP! AND PLEASE CARRY DAD!’ You told her hastily. She sensed the urgency in your voice and said ‘I’LL BE RIGHT THERE!’ You slumped down and waited. A couple seconds later your mother and father appeared in front of you. “WHAT’S WRONG?!” Your mother screamed worriedly. “I can’t explain it right now but dad can you please pick up my friends and mom can you teleport all of us outside to where the ambulances are?!” You begged. Your parents looked at you, then each other then got stern looks. “Let’s go!” Your dad said as he picked up your two friends.

As this was happening, the boys was still in pursuit of the slimy squid like villain. “YEAH HELLO?! WERE IN PURSUIT! THE VILLIAN JUST STARTED TO RUN AWAY AND HE’S HEADING TO THE AMBULANCES! EVACUATE ALL THE CITIZENS IMMEDIATELY!!” Midoriya yelled into the communication device he had. “WE HAVE TO GET ALL THE PEOPLE OUT OF THERE! BUT WE HAVE TO GO BACK FOR Y—“ Kirishima started but was cut off by something.

It was your voice. You were talking to them.

‘Hello..! Alphas can you hear me?’ Your voice said in their head. ‘We’re here baby, we’re here! We’re coming back for you ok?!’ Todoroki communicated back to you. ‘No! Don’t! I’m fine’ you stated. ‘What the hell do you mean you’re fine?! With those injuries you could pass out at any moment!’ Bakugou says back. ‘Im serious! Keep going after the villain! My parents are here and their taking me to the ambulances!’ You told them sternly. ‘NO BABY WAI—‘ and before Midoriya could finish his sentence, your quirk cut off. All the alphas look at each other, decided if they should go back or not. “I have a bad feeling about this..” Kirishima says wearily, still chasing the villain. “OH LOOKS LIKE WERE HERE~” the villain laughs, drawing the boys out of their thoughts.

“FUCK!” Bakugou yelled. The boys watched as you teleported with your parents to the ambulances. They said a few things to you as you nodded your head. They left with the heroes that were directing them away.

For some reason, their stomachs were twisting. They had a lingering feeling that somethings wasn’t right.

You were looking around, silently begging to see your pups. The villain then charged at you but you managed to jump away in the split second if time you had left. “Y/N! GET OUT OF HERE!” Todoroki yelled. They didn’t wanna see you get hurt. You were so focused on finding the pups that you didn’t even hear him.

“THERE YOU ARE!” The villain said, alerting you and the boys. You looked over at him and saw that Ami, along with her three brother, Katsuo, Haru, and Izuko standing there in the care of a pro hero. “And looks like she’s got siblings.. Oh this is gonna be great!” The villain cackled. He charged at them. “NO!” The boys yelled in togetherness. They all ran after the villain. “DON’T LET HIM GET TO THEM! GET THEM OUT OF HERE!” Kirishima yelled, alerting the heroes. “HAHA I GOT YOU NOW!” The villain cried menacingly as he appeared infront of the wide eyed pups. He swung his tentacle as herd as he could and brung it down.

He hit something. But he didn’t hear crying. He opened his eyes to see you standing there, with a victorious smirk on your face, blood seeping out of the corner of your face and mouth. You looked up at him and said “I—.. I told you I wouldn’t.. let you touch... my family..—“ Your voice came out weak and hoarse. This was the breaking point to all those attacks you had to endure before. You had heard a loud crack and pop on impact. And it would be an understatement to say it hurt a lot. You knew that you were at your limit. “Y/N!!” Everyone who knew you cried out. The villain retracted his tentacle. “M-mama?!” Your pups cried, clawing at your legs. They looked up at you teary eyed. “M’ok babies, mommy’s gonna be just fi..—” you started weakly. Your vison started to get blurry. And darkness was the only thing you could see. “Get.. get them away.. don’t wanna fall.. on th..” you started to get out. You knew you were going to faint so you didn’t wanna fall on your pups. Your body began to fall. Before you hit the ground, you felt somebody catch you. By the way they held you, you knew it was one of your alphas. You could hear muffled screams. Your body soon went limp in the arms of whomever was holding you as you could do nothing but welcome the darkness.

©Property of Miashimaa. Please don’t rectify, repost or modify without my permission. Plagiarism will NOT be tolerated.

Taglist: @develith @uniquabackyardigans @unfazedrose @kiribis-confesion-page @darylthekidd @gm4176 (Open ! click here to be added!)

Loving Is Nothing

Fandom: Bnha, Mha Paring: Midoriya Izuku x Reader, Midoriya Izuku x Ochaco Uraraka Rating: G Warnings: Angst, Breakup Words: .6k97 A/N: A drabble for when he was your soulmate, but you weren’t his.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

Hearing him say it, Y/n almost forgave him. She smiled, putting a hand on his face to wipe the tears that started to fall from his eyes. “I know,”

It’s okay, she wanted to say, I understand. I forgive you. It’s not your fault. There’s no one to blame. She wanted to pull him in and ease away the pain he was in. She wanted to comfort him, but instead she dropped her hand from his skin. 

They sat across from each other in their favorite café, in the booth they shared their first kiss- the same place a nervous high school girl confesses her love to an awkward teenage boy. She smiled at the booth, so many memoires.

“I don’t know how to tell you how sorry I am,”

Her lips pressed together and her eyes heated with the tears she’d same until he was gone. Gingerly, she cupped his hands with her own- “There’s nothing to forgive.”

And that was it. The end of their story, the death of the love they once shared, the murder of the future which was being born in front of everyone’s eyes.

The media went into a frenzy, already having taken photos of a crying Y/n walking out of the café alone. After all, it’s not every day the top two hero's breakup. 

Honestly, it was much better than Y/n expected. The people were sympathetic, having watched the young couple grow up together and following their love story- some even felt like they were a part of the broken relationship. 

Deku and Uraraka stared dating exactly three months after the relationship ended- what Ochaco considered a generous mourning period for a loveless relationship. But there was love, bruised, broken, love, but love none the less.

Her tears every night are an offering to the life they could have lived, her dreams a testament to her devotion towards this fallen deity. Every cry of his name while she slept was a prayer, nothing could fill her heart from the apocalypse her faith brought her. 

Her first date was a year after the breakup. “I think you’re beautiful,” The man had told her- a gentle smile on his face as he pulled the chair out for her to sit.

“I want to see you again,” he smiled bashfully, as they walked out the restaurant.

“I really like you,” he admitted over a nighttime stroll, ice-cream in his hand.

“I always want to be by your side,” he whispered into her ear after she called him in the middle of the night, broken from the dream she had.

“I love you,” he smiled over the expensive cake in their go-to restaurant. 

“We’ll get through this,” he ran his finger over the back of her hand, after Y?n got involved in a accident during a mission.

“I can’t do this anymore.” He said over coffee in their apartment, his eyes out of focus as he blankly starred at the wall- having heard his love say a different mans name during her sleep. 

He broke up with her on their two year anniversary. Y/n wondered breifly, as she arrived home to see all of his belongings missing, if she was the broken one. She thought back on all the memories and wondered if she should be in pain right now. 

He had cried after he broke up with her. Should she have cried?

No matter how hard Y/n tried to feel sad about the end of their romance, she couldn’t. She had already met the love of her life- already had her epic romance, the relationship to test the tides of time. How do you love someone else after all that? She sat on the floor of her apartment for hours- legs falling asleep along witht he rest of the world. You can’t. There’s no one else after your soulmate. 

Once you lose the person you’re supposed to spend forever with, al love is empty. She spent all her butterflies on her first love, used up all she had to give. After him- after Izuku- loving is nothing. Not when she had him. Not when he’s gone.

BNHA Villain Deku Ao3 Recommendations

Mastermind: Strategist For Hire by Clouds (myheadinthecoudsnotcomingdown)

Main Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Main Pairings: Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto, Bubaigawara Jin | Twice/Toga Himiko, Dabi/Takami Keigo | Hawks (If you squint)

Chapters: 43/43

Summary:

Izuku Midoriya never got the chance to save Bakugo from the sludge villain and impress All Might. With his dream crushed, Izuku becomes bitter and angry. It also doesn't help that he faces discrimination at every turn. All he ever wanted was to be appreciated, so when the villains are the ones to recognize his talents rather than the heroes, well, Izuku just can't resist. He might as well help those who actually want him around. Mistakes were made, and now society must face a villain of their own making: Mastermind.

You know I’m the one who put you up there by SimpleSoul_Shipper

Main Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Main Pairings: [N/A]

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

It's been 5 years since they've graduated, and Bakugou Katsuki, AKA Pro-Hero Ground Zero, has reached to top 10 hero rankings. During a party held by his old classmates, Verdant Ghost, his nemesis, announces that he wants Katsuki to play a game, solve three little riddles and he gets Ghost's identity. Katsuki didn't realise that his nemesis, was also the person who made him a hero.

Nemesis by Clouds (myheadinthecoudsnotcomingdown)

Main Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Main Pairings: [N/A]

Chapters: 5/5

Summary:

When villains become well known enough, they choose a hero to be their nemesis. This hero will get priority in all cases involving their nemesis, and have an additional responsibility to catch them. Nemesis call outs have been around as long as heroes and villains have existed, and are widely accepted as a normal part of the hero system. Mischief is the exception. Despite his power, he has never identified his chosen nemesis. Never, that is, until today.

Malevolent Mischief by Gaysoundsaboutright

Main Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Main Pairings: [N/A]

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

"It's a show to them, you know?" Deku murmurs softly. Bakugo tries for a snarl, but it comes out weak, so pathetically weak. "I mean, think about it!" Deku, useless, useless useless Deku, gestures widely at the crowd around them, laughing when they scuttle back. "There are so many of them! They might only be untrained civilians but, if they really wanted to... But no. It's a show. You're my nemesis, so you have to be the one to defeat me. And I," Deku grins cruelly. "I have the right to pick on you at my every whim, make you fight for your life, because..." Deku hums. "Well, because society has decided so, I suppose."

A snippet inspired by Clouds' fic Nemesis! Go read it if you haven't already!! It's super good!

Hero Deku Ao3 Fanfic Recommendations

Deku? I think he's some pro... by Clouds (myheadinthecoudsnotcomingdown)

Chapters: 94/94

Yagi Toshinori watched the green haired boy walk away after saving his friend and shook his head. While the boy's actions were heroic, he was just too reckless. He walked in the opposite direction, thinking about a time he could meet the candidate Sir Nighteye put forward.

Izuku Midoriya goes home and decides that, even if he can't be hero himself, he can still help them with his analysis. Cue Izuku catching the attention of multiple heroes who are a little more open-minded and willing to see the potential in a quirkless kid.

Clipped Wings (Don't Worry, They'll Grow Back) by Present_Mom

Chapters: 5/?

Izuku was Quirkless before gaining One for All. He was 100% sure of this fact.

Yeah, there were twin scars on his back, but they've always been there, a freak accident right after his birth. Yeah, his fingernails and toenails grew too sharp sometimes, but his mom was quick to cut them before he hurt anyone!

Izuku was 100% Quirkless.

Until he gets hit by a quirk at the USJ. Usually, the quirk rewinds a person back to their infant state for a minute. That's it.

So why does he have wings now!?

The Fae Prince by ThaliasRuin (XanderLee), XanderLee

Chapters: 16/?

Midoria Izuku may have a quirk but that doesn’t mean he’s not useless, not to Bakugou at least. Until an almost accident causes an unexpected evolution of his quirk which causes the hierarchy to be flipped completely. After all, how many people can heal from death?

UA and the Hero industry don’t know what’s coming.

Beyond the Broken Horizon by JoWithTheFlow

Chapters: 43/?

About a week after that, All Might asked Izuku if he was aiming for the hero course at UA. The question was so sudden that Izuku nearly dropped a microwave on his toes.

The truth was, if All Might had asked him that a week ago, there would have only been one possible answer to that question. All Might had gone to UA, UA was the best, so Izuku was going to go there too, if he could. But things were a little different, now that he was going to receive All Might’s Quirk.

“No,” he said, decisively.

All Might looked caught off guard, which was a very rare expression on him. “No?” he echoed, like he couldn’t believe it.

A laugh bubbled out of Izuku’s throat. He honestly couldn’t believe it either. “No,” he repeated.

___

Or, All Might tells Izuku about All for One before he gives him One for All, and everything changes.

Apex Predator by silver jackdaw (cizzi)

Chapters: 40/?

Every single school had one: someone at the top of the food chain. An acme. Someone who could do things under a teacher's nose, escape consequences, and terrify other people. Someone who looked down on everyone else like they were prey. An apex predator. And Izuku couldn't count on teachers and adults to protect anyone. Even a hero school wasn't safe from the phenomena. When Izuku gets to Yuuei, he's determined to find out who it is and ensure they can't hurt him or his new friends.

...and accidentally, in the process, becomes the apex predator (though he is mostly unaware of this, and uses it for good. But still, people are terrified of him.)

Taglist:

@appreciate-writers-blog @virgil-is-a-cutie @iamablinkmarvelarmy @jellyfishpalace @lonestarfangirl2014 @s-undus-t @mc-glare-is-king @yourmom1738 @ladykristianna @valiantpeanutbearperson @dditzy @sakusakuya @actualnarislayer @cawcaw-bitch @solar-prestige @mirukosimp63 @w-e-chard @myshallweplay @iamablinkmarvelarmy @underworldsecret @m3liora

BIRDS OF A FEATHER

I. Midoriya

I’ve loved him my entire life, from the day we met to the day I die I’ll love him. I loved him even when he confessed he was quirkless. I loved him when we both somehow became hero’s. When he confided that he’d taken All Mights’s quirk. That he would become the last user of it.

I believe he loved me, loved me when I went to his dorm door at two in the morning. Crying through the nightmares, he’d hold me in his arms and rock me back and forth until he felt me relax in his arms. Collapsing into him, “are they back?” He references the nightmares I’ve been plagued with. The ones that keep me from sleep. The ones that make me shoot up and pace.

A feeble nod is all he needs before we lay next to each other. Holding hands as we talk about life. Where we want to intern or work for. Who we want to be.

Im not surprised I ended up here. Laying in his arms. Back against his legs as he holds my hands. Applying pressure against my wounds. Careful at every hiss and wheeze I emit from my cracked and split lips. Looking at the metal rod sticking through my stomach. His eyes are wide, tears messily stick to his cheek and eyelashes. Soft hiccups make me wince as I cry too.

“Just hold on. Just stay with me” he pleads silently as I look up at him, “we have so much to do. So much to live for” he cries out. Hunching over me. Wiping wet tears from my cheeks, “comon.. don’t you wanna work with me one day?”

I smile weakly at him, my body hurts. Pain hasn’t ever felt so raw before. Nothings hurt like this, nothings hurt like being fucking stabbed by a metal pipe. I cough a little as he shakes my head, “comon.. comonnn. Remember what you said when we were little? ‘Birds of a feather? We’re sticking together? No matter what?’ Something like that?” He’s a little frantic trying to remember what I used to talk about.

“Do you love me?” The question spurs, hiding in the back of my mind until it sprouts to my lips. I watch his eyes soften. Green hues that look back into mine. He smiles weakly and my heart lurches.

“Of course I do. How could I not love you?” He says that like it would be stupid of me to think he didn’t, “you’re the love of my life. You have to stay alive for me. Because I want to marry you one day. And grow old with you” he starts talking but I can’t hear him anymore.

All I see is a mouth moving but I can’t hear anything. Just a faint ringing. Like a ping pong ball bouncing off my earlobes. I don’t know what dying feels like. I’ve been surrounded by death my entire life and somehow I don’t know what it feels like.

Maybe it’s different for everyone, “I’m sorry” I apologize, I don’t know if he can hear me. If anyone can. But I feel him. I feel him shift underneath me to support my body, to tug me more into his arms as he rocks me. Slow and gentle. I creep a hand up to his face, feeling at the freckles on his face as light creeps from my eyes.

I’m glad that when I am dying, it’s his face I see. The one I love to look at. The one I’d be happy waking up to in the mornings. Surrounded by our kids. By happiness.

I didn’t want to die like this, but at least im dying in his arms.

I muse a weak smile as he bends down. A soft kiss on my lips as the world leaves me. At least I kept true to my words. I loved him till the day I died.