Crack - Tumblr Posts
I feel like we need to appreciate Thire more, so this is for you buddy (other commanders are mentioned bc they have to be)
Thire is 9 at the start of the clone wars and quickly rises the ranks
He is very temperamental but has developed a certain patience that makes him seem calm
He is fact not calm and has a short fuse; he just bottles it up and will make your life a living hell through mild annoyances
Think of a robber who steals your tv remotes batteries, except he steals all the batteries in the house and makes buying any more batteries horrible and trying experience
Many GAR commanders are afraid of him and those that aren’t should be
Of the commanders group he is the ‘angry asshole’
Fox is ‘tired/bitch/rude asshole’, thorn is the ‘nice asshole’, hound is ‘obnoxious asshole’, and stone is ‘quiet/creepy (he stares a lot to convey his displeasure) asshole’
Thire is in charge of Senator escorts, specializing with off world missions. He works closest to Thorn who oversees the senate and the least with Stone (oversees the prison)
He has the most contact with the Jedi and somehow became Yoda’s favorite, getting specific requests for him
He has mixed feelings bc Yoda’s not bad company but he’s used as a sort of chair the whole time?
Since he’s the youngest, the others are very protective of him and this does annoy him but he loves with it
Make no mistake, Thire will easily commit murder
Stones face is all kinds of messed up, he’s missing a cheek on his left side exposing the teeth from a mad Trandosian during a riot turned mass escape attempt (they failed)
He keeps his head shaved because of the patchy growth around scars
He’s got so many scratch marks and chunks missing from things like that
This also applies to the rest of the Prison Guard, they are the most scarred group of corries
The prison has ARC troopers on staff constantly to discourage (they have taken down many a prisoner and use unconvential weapons to do it) riots and escapes
Though they rotate, ARC Trooper Whip is the only ARC who is a permanent fixture
Like his name suggests, he uses whips and is *incredibly* skilled with them, they are also electro whips (he can control whether they use electricity or not)
Hound is very bad with people and is the kind of person who can like perfectly understand animals
Thire has a mean streak and finds scaring newbies and visitors incredibly hilarious
His favorite massif is Runt (an exotic breed that’s twice the size of a normal massif (about 6’ standing on his hind legs)) and twwith the handler Trigger (has a height defect, being 2.5 in smaller than standard)
Both are pretty chill and Runt is especially lazy so they are free to get his victims the most
Runt looks scary as his spines are much longer and sharper, with an extra row of teeth and darker skin
This includes using sleeping ARF and massiffs to do so. He did this by getting his victim to wake up an ARF trooper. However, they often sleep with massifs. Often with their spines toward outside for defense and the person against the wall to watch for enemies. If they smell you first, they will bite your hand. So, Thire watches as deep and angry growl comes from the darkness and the shriek that comes from his victim.
Thire has a problem with the CSF often coming in on MP matters or dumping non MP matters onto them
Once a bomb went off incredibly close to 79s, a hole was put in the wall and several were injured. A Guard Clone duo was blasted through the wall and the medics who had been drinking were pulled away into keeping them alive
CSF shows up and is like ‘not important, blah blah’. Everyone is obvi pissed and eventually Thire arrives to deal with it
He just straight up says ‘you’re impeding an military investigation of a terrorist bombing. Move or you will be arrested and criminal charges will be pressed.’
Freaks of the Corscant Guard Part One
Slick in the CG:
So obvi Fox saves Slick from decommissioning and is like ‘u work for me or die’
Slick chooses life and is like ‘what’s needed’
Fox doesn’t trust slick like at all, so he is forced to wear a shock collar and has a tracker implanted that’s attached to his intestines (slick doesn’t know where it is only that it’s there)
Slick essentially does Fox’s dirty work and he doesn’t mind, fox isn’t a bad boss at all
Slick becomes a part of the ‘crazies’ squad which is made up of a Psychopath (psycho), a sociopath (socio), a narcissist (narc), a pathological liar (false), and a serial arsonist who burned several natborns (burn)
All of them have trackers in them (diff locations) but burn is the only one who has a collar as well
Slick does enjoy these partners and their craziness
Psycho and socio are the only ones who’ve left the planet and worked with other squads
Fox has gotten them to cooperate by making the squads in question ‘their’ pets
Despite what that means, Socio and Psycho like their pets happy and healthy so completing the mission and keeping them all alive is perfect for their pets
Socio prefers to be alone so often solo missions on Coruscant that are off the books
Psycho enjoys working with new pets and has actually been able to keep one
On an off world mission, Psycho was given charge of a squad with the 41st
It went bad and Psycho was only able to save one pet (he was very upset at his pets being taken), a shiny that survived
The shiny (that Psycho named Baby) had asked for a transfer after the mission and Neyo decided to just let Fox have him
After all, if Baby liked Psycho and wanted to be his vod’ika, there must be something really wrong with Baby
Psycho was absolutely delighted to have a permanent pet! Usually, he kept pets for the length of the mission and then satiated with solo off the books missions on Coruscant
Psycho wanted nothing more than his pet to be happy and healthy, otherwise he’d look like a bad ori’vod and Baby would become a broken toy (no one likes a broke toy)
Baby (under Stone’s command) is given similar shifts as Psycho, well he has the same break times and days off. Otherwise he’s in the prison
Narc hates Baby, as Baby takes away attention from him (as Baby is something new and taking all of Psychos attention)
Narc ends up tormenting Baby when Psycho isn’t around which Psycho catches on too
Baby, who now sees Psycho as a safe place, ends up developing a dependency on Psycho that’s extreme when he’s not on shift
When he’s working, he’s fine, but when he’s free, he’s attached to psycho like a tumor
Slick likes Baby and attempts to get Fox to stop Narc (bc he’s not getting involved in that, no way) and leaves it at that
False gets along very well with Narc, as he is a great liar and has no problem inflating Narc’s ego
False mostly does info handling and spec ops, as he’s a great liar and it’s practically impossible to tell what’s the truth and a lie
It’s not hard for commanders to get the truth from him though, as False is entirely trustworthy and normal besides his lying
The problems only came when troopers stopped trusting him, not understanding that False pathologically lies when the information either doesn’t matter (so he’s lie through entire conversations) or he’s deflecting (captured and asked for info) but when it comes to commanders and brothers lives on the line, he’ll be truthful
Burn is surprisingly the odd ball of the group, as he gets along with everyone and no one
He’s likable enough but he has a habit of going absolutely psychotic around fires and sometimes he just wants to watch something burn
Sports I think Clones would compete in for the Olympics:
Clones grew up with competition, if you couldn’t take it you’d be miserable so everyone has a good sense of sportsmanship and they aren’t sore losers
Volleyball (indoor and beach)
Working together with quick reflexes and coordination speaks to them, in the seven players of indoors to the duo on the beach
Rugby (very popular for heavy gunner troopers)
Team sports plus using your whole body to hit people is a perfect match
Gymnastics
Idk the idea that some of them got into doing the fun flips and quickly progressed, favoring the bars, vault, and floor
Boxing
Judo
Wrestling
Do I need to explain these? They’re already love fighting, just specify the type
Archery (snipers especially)
Shooting
Very similar to their military work, friendly competition and lower stakes make for a fun time
Weightlifting
I could see some guys enjoying the challenge of heavier weights, pushing their bodies to the max
Surfing
Idk, feel like it wouldn’t be popular, but those that do it would have a blast
Equestrian (ARF troopers mostly)
ARF troopers were trained with live mounts, they loved that. Working with an animal all day and becoming a team.
They’d probably enjoy jumping the most but I can see dressage being popular as well
Ice Hockey
Fast pace, dangerous, relying on a team, fierce competition, yet still requires skill and precision
Swimming
Scuba troopers mostly, their training is Kamino, a pool is way easier and more relaxing. Keeps the fun competition with others and good atmosphere
Sport Climbing
Scaling cliff sides was already fun during training, some take it further and compete. Enjoying the view at the top with friendly competition is a blast
BMX Racing
Mountain Cycling
Shooting down a rough mountain with jumps, sharp turns, and mud galore is an adrenaline rush on its own. Add a time limit and you’ve got a wild ride!
Bossk and Boba Fett is hilarious. Bossk, having no idea about human needs and is just born able to survive, raising the Boba Fett, who can kill a man in many ways while also being a pre-teen and very traumatized, is just such a funny concept.
Their shenanigans would be legendary. Their trying to navigate their familial relationship while being business partners only really bound together by a dead guy.
Anyway some headcanons now:
Jango took Bossk (only Bossk) to Kamino to meet Boba several times over the years
Bossk, who was friends with Jango for a while, was/is very out of his element with Boba is every way
Their first meeting when Boba is a baby goes like the meme, 'wanna beer?' 'hes a baby!' 'idk, what am i supposed to do with him!'
The second time they meet, Boba is four and at the age where fear is not a thing so he, after staring at Bossk silently for 5 mins, asks 'what do different species taste like? what do *i* taste like?'
Bossk did actually explain everything and Jango was a def taken aback
They meet several more times and Bossk has looked after Boba on an occasion or two
At some point Jango tells Bossk that if something were to happen to him, Boba should stay with Bossk and he has an account set up with money to pay Bossk for doing so
Bossk does accept this and Jango hands a communicator with only Boba's number, he carries it with him at all times, and they don't mention it again
Bossk gets a call on it and heads to Geonosis
During the whole thing with the Endurance, Boba and Bossk decide on Florrum that they don't want this kind of heat and leave Aurra there
Over the course of many years, Bossk becomes Boba's uncle(?) figure
Bossk teaches Boba how to effectively kill Wookies and some Trandoshian weak points which do come in handy on jobs
The first time Boba kills a Wookie alone, Bossk is very proud and keeps it in his trophy room
The Slave 1 is usually left with Hondo during their jobs unless they need more firepower because the upkeep is a little more than they can afford and still make profit (tho as the jobs get more advanced they use the Slave 1 more)
They do get arrested and end up on Coruscant for a short period where they end up owing Stone for sorta letting them escape (there was a massive riot and Stone had priorities)
Bossk does enjoy scaring people from time to time through looming over them
Bossk, being a member of the bounty hunters guild, is able to sponsor Boba for his own membership. However, Bossk makes it clear that Boba has to earn the other requirements on his own skills
I think she’d be a standard poodle! They’re very smart and used to be hunting dogs. Plus they have hair so they don’t shed!
Specifically a white one! My grandma has one, named Flash (in pic below) and she’s all lively and the sweetest thing ever! Super energetic and adores people!
What type of dog do you guys think Grizzer would be? I know she probably would be one of the popular police K9 breeds. Like a german shepherd, a labrador retriever or a belgian malinois.
Post War Clone Careers
Some of them bc I’m full of ideas:
Up first, personal trainer
While they may not know much, they know how to stay fit and mostly healthy. Many who are very sociable and extroverted take up this career as a chance to help others better themselves
Some of these clones, while not personal trainers, have taken to vlogs of their workout routines.
Many started this to keep up a challenge with brothers but it ended up becoming for everyone
Different type of clones posted different workouts and routines for their speciality
Stuntmen:
You’re perfectly training for fighting and taking a hit. Stuntman is the way to go for some of the more adrenaline junkie clones that gave up fighting but wanted action
While they don’t stunt double often, when a character is faceless and in need of some badass moves, a clone is the way to go
They became quite popular with many directors wanting their expertise and experience not only on the stunts but also the realism of some plot points
One clone even managed to become a stunt coordinator and worked with many famous directors
Another clone took to vlogging bts of his days and how stunts were done
Many of the Scuba Battalion worked in Aquariums or Scuba tours on different planets. Though most stayed with the Jedi and worked on escorts on water worlds
Vlogging:
While most clones used vlogging to record for their brothers while building a new life, some were able to do it full time
A group of the Coruscant Guard were forced to retire after the war and had to look for work. These four decided to live together in an apartment
One, Jax, wanted to film his journey building his life. He looked for jobs, made dinner, bonded with his brothers, etc
He gained lots of support and his roommates were happy to be filmed.
There was Jax, Marker, Deadshot, and Sunshine. Jax remained the main clone but all were featured and were able to find jobs and Jax pursued vlogging and ended up streaming as well
Another Coruscant Guard was still in active duty, Runt (an exotic breed of massiff) and Trigger were the main focus
Since they were active, they mostly did fun trick videos and information
Once a week they post two videos. One of funny moments of Runt either interacting with civvies or being his dorky huge self. And another of chase moments, petty theives, small time tracking, and crowd control. These are voiced over and the commands for Runt are edited out
In the Scuba Battalion, a trooper named Jellee who’s still active, records different water worlds and his surroundings. Often providing information of the species he sees through his audio. Other troopers wave and help record.
He has a collection of pretty rocks and sea glass
Food!:
The troopers never got real food in the army so they try all different sorts when they can
Three troopers, Seville, Mort, and Risk, document their new experiences
Whether they end up eating the whole meal or gaggin halfway through, their goal is to try every for and flavor combination!
From pickled meats, exotic fruits, animal guts, odd pastries, or the finest of sweet treats
Once they get popular and do it full time, many fans send them foods to try, ranging from recipes to snacks
The trio will also go on trips to different planets and learn to make the food
They end up getting to spend a week trying food on Mandalorian with some of the Royal chefs
They have to take public transport for the first time and vlog the whole experience
‘How bad could it be?’
The transport is 5 hours late, and they left after three (the trip was supposed to be at 10 pm)
They go ‘we can fly our own damn plane!’ And borrow one from the jedi and fly themselves
Turns out the spice tolerance is genetically transferred and they are able to enjoy all the spice!
Why you don't prank the Guard commanders
Since they are almost constantly tired and at the end of their rope, anything could set them over the edge and no one wants that
not only that but they will usually react very strongly because of their extenuating circumstances and it is often blown out of proportions
HOWEVER, the other battalions don't know that and just want to help their brothers have fun! what's wrong with that
THIRE:
Thire got off a three day mission with General Yoda that ends up with Thire covered in some giant monsters stomach fluids and snot
He had to sit in it for a ten hour ride back and is humilated, with Yoda attempting to comfort him which only makes it worse
On his way back to the HQ, some troopers from the 104th decided to hit a guard with fake slime, a funny little prank
When Thire is at the end of his rope, he goes for violence
Thire waltzes into the mess, calls out whoever pranked him, and proceeded to dress them down, chew them up, and spit them out in front of everyone in the entire mess (made up of a few battalions and some Padawan Commanders)
It boiled down to 'you morons, i will kill you, you tiny roaches are nothing to me and i will throw you in the trash compactor like the disgusting garbage you are' with much more colorful and degrading language thrown in
Many now fear Thire and Wolffe outright refuses to work with the man out of fear
STONE:
Stone had just stopped three prison riots, captured two escapees from said riots, updated the entire security system, and hadn't slept because of the previous items for four days
Some men from Kit Fisto's SCUBA battalion thought it would be funny to hide some of Stone's stuff that was in his office (ie, datapads, pens, etc) and moved his stuff three inches to any side
Stone, who usually just jumped onto the coach in his office with the lights off, missed the middle and went to far up and smacked his nose on the wooden arm of the couch and cracked a tooth
This was not a fun way to cap the last four days
He found the troopers and filled their SCUBA tubes with spiders for them to find when they shipped out. Too bad the spiders crawled onto their faces on the ship and not in the water :(
THORN:
Thorn had been assissting senators for three full days with only 5 hours of sleep while standing throughout meetings
He had been ready to sleep and was heading to his last meeting with General Kenobi and some of his troopers present
Wooley and Longshot decided to lighten the mood by setting their voice coders to a different language and telling him he was going crazy
They also removed the nonslip pads from the couch and it slid out from underneath him
This may not have been bad at all but after three days, every little thing is annoying as shit and exhausting
After that meeting, Thorn decides to take revenge
Thorn is a believer in you get what you give so he does something harmless
relatively harmless
He sneaks onto the 212th barracks on the ship and places a speaker into the vents of the barracks, above Wooley and Longshots bunks (as close as he could get, the sound reverbs so everyone is pretty mad about this prank)
Every so often, in random intervals (no more than 4 hours, no less than 1 hours) a beep would sound, not too loud but loud enough to be annoying after 2 days
At night, it gets louder and more frequent and quieter during the day
Many troopers lose sleep over finding the thing (Thorn literally unscrewed wall panels to hide it), its been 3 weeks and they arrive at their new battle field in a week
Four days before their arrival, as the speaker is about to die, in the middle of the night, the speaker goes to full volume and shouts 'THIS IS COMMANDER THORN. I MAY BE THE CAUSE OF YOUR SLEEPLESSNESS BUT LONGSHOT AND WOOLEY STARTED THIS. I WILL DO IT AGAIN ASSHOLES. THE SPEAKER IS GOING TO DIE SO ENJOY YOUR *TEMPORARY* FREEDOM. HAHHAHAHAHAH-' and then the speaker dies (Thorn hacked the cameras and enjoys playing the screaming arguments and shouts at the speaker during rough days)
Longshot and Wooley never hear the end of it
FOX:
Fox had been going through hell the entire week and he was ready to kill someone, even though his shift wasn't over yet.
Jesse, Fives, and Hardcase had decided to help Fox lighten up by shooting him with silly string throughout the day, switching armor with blank armor to keep hidden
Fox was paranoid and had to be sedated. He eventually tracked down the three and had his revenge not through their own annoyance
At first, he replaced their weapons with modified silly guns that quickly ended, leading them to believe they were free (the whole revenge lasted an hour ish as the three enjoyed playing with the silly string)
Unknown to them, Rex's entire room had been filled with silly string, his blasters, the padding in his matress, the drawers in his dress, the hair wash was liquid silly string, the soap was frozen strong, his pillow, his chair was broken then 'welded' back together with silly string and fell apart when he sat on it, etc.
He kept finding it and it lasted for days, the moment he thought it was over, more string came up. He was paranoid, everything was silly string
When he finally complained to the command chat, Fox told him that Jesse, Hardcase, and Fives caused it and that he overheard them planning it
When Rex punished them, they said they never did anything with silly string but many others saw them spraying each other with the silly string FOX pranked them with so everyone assumed they were messing with the leftovers from Rex's prank. Not only that but they weren't quiet about pranking Fox so everyone thought he was the warm up for Rex.
No matter what they said, Rex didn't believe a word and they were stuck on latrine duty for a whole month
When Rex found out about Fox getting pranked as well, Rex let them get punished by him too
Fox made them clean out all the massiff kennels and play areas, cleaning any stains from the puppies and getting used for bite practice by the adults everyday for their next leave.
Fox came by and watched them everyday, laughing at their misery
HOUND:
Hound loves pranks and jokes and will happily engage and laugh at them
however, the timing has to be right and most don't get that part (only the other ARF troopers know)
Some troopers from the 41st took his bed sheets and pillows and blankets and towels after some of his troopers and Hound ended a four hour chase through the sewers (they didn't know about the chase).
Hound normally would've thought this was hilarious but after spending two hours covered in sewage looking for towels around HQ just to shower, he was pretty mad
After cleaning up and ready for bed, he snuck into the 41st barracks and woke them up with a growling, snarling grizzer leaning over their face and a hand over their mouth.
He whispered, 'don't scream, you touch my shit again, I will end you and everyone you love.'
Rinse and repeat then he sneaks away
Ragnar Time Travel
So, y'know time travel fics were someone gets thrown back and saves everyone. The Ragnar (being a teen at the time of my idea) gets plopped down into the clone wars via magic stuff on one of his ventures as an apprentice to Axe. He'd end up with 104th bc Dad Koon. Ragnar saved a clone, completely on accident while running from something going to kill him, and then trying to salvage the situation.
He partners with the 104th and its adventure time! Ragnar is just amazed at the old tech (in a 'how id you function??' sorta teen way) and incredibly weirded out by the Plo Koon's Jedi-ness.
Ragnar gets along just about as well as he gets along with anyone outside the Tribe (which is fine but kinda quiet and uncomfy). Though, he finds the clones interesting and a few are interested in Mandalorian culture.
He’s totally shocked that they aren’t allowed to be Mandalorian. ‘Uhhhh that’s the whole point??? To be from diff places?? As long as you follow the creed ur a Mando! Wdym they were born from a tube?! That matters????? What kinda Mandalorians are you talking about??’
Anyway, the clones are very happy to have that validation that it’s the Mandos who are wrong. The clones adore Ragnar and Plo Koon makes sure that he is comfortable.
They end up meeting with the 501st for backup and Anakin is more hostile than Plo Koon towards Ragnar (enter Anakin Drama). Ragnar avoids Anakin because the vibes are off with him.
Anyway, Ragnar never mentions his last name bc he didn’t think it mattered and then Anakin goes on a rant about Death Watch and Pre Vizsla and Ragnar is like ‘??? My crazy uncle???’
In the end, Ragnar is like ‘I’m a Vizsla foundlings and my dad is a Vizsla but Pre is a douche bag.’
It’d be even funnier if they somehow ran into him and Ragnar tells him to his face that he thinks Pre is stupid
Anyway, I am all for teen Ragnar having such an attitude but also being a sweetheart.
There are a lot of people to blame for this. Mostly @liveloveyoibang, but also@topcatnikki, @zupsgirl1, and @narcissuspseudonarcissus
Viktor honestly had no idea how he had ended up in this situation. He really, really should have known better than to piss off Lilia too much. He should have known she would have the power to turn him and his fiancé into zambonis as punishment for messing up the ice. And now it was too late.
Keep reading
IT NOW HAS A PICTURE! WHAAT! <3
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, zamboni - Character Additional Tags: Don’t Read This, no seriously, Don’t do it, Zamboni, late night shit posting with the llybb crew, Centaurification Summary:
It’s a Zamboni. But it’s also a Centaur.
@liveloveyoibang because more Zamboni!!! On Ice is always better!
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, Victor Nikiforov, zamboni - Character Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Crack, Zamboni Crack, Body Worship, Thirsty Victor Nikiforov, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Don't Ask Don't Tell Summary:
Victor is only slightly jealous of the Zamboni.
If you haven’t already seen it, this crack came about because of the LLYBB discord. @liveloveyoibang @cait-writes-stuff
Ah man~
crack scenarios pt 1
Yan!Himbo— So, can this pretty boy get a kiss~?
Genius!reader—…
Genius!Reader— No.
_____________________________________________ 10 minutes later
_____________________________________________
Yan!Himbo (banging on Readers dorm room door)— PLEASE JUST ONE KISS!?
Genius!Reader (Barricading the door with their dresser)— What the fuck?!
YOU FOOLS
momo on the side of angels is what’s stopping BNHA from ending right now.
appreciate the momo more.
New alt. universe where the Boku no Hero charas and their roleplayers run a roleplay council. Everyone trains to become the best roleplayer they can be in order to get accepted into the ultimate Roleplay Academy, where they eventually fight with their charas to the death. The winners are decided by the charas and put on the ultimate RP masterlist, where they're finally accepted into the council.
Icons are like POKÉMON and the more aesthetic you have, the higher your attack points. This is OUR ROLEPLAY ACADEMIA.
GOOD MORNING
hunger games, bnha style
and my personal favorite,
AND IF YOU GO, I WANNA GO WITH YOU—
How would you—a part time guitarist and streamer, react when an upcoming streamer known as gojo admitted to liking your music and streams?
Streamer!gojo x streamer/musician!reader
GENRE- fluff, maybe some angst.. overall crack fic, strangers to lovers, fem mexican reader, college AU, modern AU, social media AU.
main masterlist… taglist…
⭑ YN’s group ⭑ GOJO’s group
CHAPTER 01: WIP
CHAPTER 02: N/A…
CHAPTER 03: N/A…
CHAPTER 04: N/A...
Marshal Commander Cody finally loses his marbles.
ENHYPEN SMAU
Jake
Energy
Jungwon
Sunghoon
Sunoo
Niki
Heeseung
Jay
Hyung line
Maknae line
Prompt#14
(Harry topless on a balcony where everyone can see him)
Severus: Put some clothes on! Not everyone can handle your boobies (Chucked some wine from full wine bottle)
Stranger: Is that alcohol?
Severus: It's a wine, a * insert fancy wine name * to be precise
Harry puts a shirt on and comes back out
Severus: “Wait, never mind take it back off!”
≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫
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